change, it is a comin'

So, I'm not a big fan of change; typical of a left brainer like me, who enjoys routine, plans, and organization. Anyone who knows me, knows this about me. It takes a while to adjust my heart and mind, and embrace new things. I'm a LOT better than I used to be, but it's still a struggle. It just so happens that I'm being given several changes to practice with right now!
First of all, my sister's moving out of Kate's house and into an apartment with a friend. She told Kate about this on Friday, but, knowing how change is hard for me, they waited to tell me until Sunday. I think they were a little afraid of how I would react. hmmm. It's not just that she's moving, it's that she has already started to move! She says to me Sunday night, "So, Jackie's moving back in town, and she has a cute apartment." Uh-oh, I think. "And...I've kind of already started moving in with her." sigh.
Of course, it's a good thing. She can be on her own for the first time since leaving home (and by "on her own" I mean apart from Kate and I). It's good for her. blah blah. We went to see the apartment with her, and it's very cute. I know she'll have a lot of fun living there, and we can go visit her and have fun times. Still, my heart was sad when we drove away and left her behind. What am I, a sister...or a mom? That's what comes of homeschooling your kids, I guess. They all think they are each other's moms.
Also in the realm of changes, one of my closest friends told me Sunday that she's engaged! It was quite the shocker, except not really, because that's just the kind of girl she is. So, there goes another one. And I'm tempted to feel forgotten and left behind.
There are a few other changes that are on top of these and are causing a feeling of general...unsettledness. Not a huge amount, but it's there. I like my plans and none of them seem to be working out the way I'd like.
The good thing is, in the midst of all this God is patiently pursuing my heart, continuing His training on hope. As I'm looking more deeply into what it means to hope, I'm being faced with the true depths of my desires- for a husband, a family, a sense of stability and belonging. They are stronger than I even imagined, which makes looking at them in the place I'm currently at, a little painful.
The hope would be that I recognize that the root of these desires are for significance, purpose, security- all of which can only ever be perfectly met by a God who has no needs, and gives all that I need, including the Spirit of His perfect Son to live inside of me. He gives the desire, and mercifully holds back the things that we would try to meet those desires with, so that we would see His surpassing ability to fulfill all our deepest dreams and strongest heart longings. So...what other choice do I have? He's where it's at! ;)

"I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned.
In awe of the one who gave it all.
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered.
All I am is Yours" -Hillsong